The Staff

An Aberdeen-based Mickey-Mouse graduate with delusions of grandeur. Michael is currently in the employ of a shadowy group called hecklerspray. When he says ’employ’, they don’t pay. They just keep him in a cupboard. While in the cupboard, he works as the Web Editor of Trisickle Magazine. An avid football fan and armchair pundit, he is dedicated fan of Kilmarnock FC. You might have come across him stammering his way through an interview on BBC World Service. More than likely you’ve just read rumours about his love-making prowess scratched into walls of toilet cubicles all over Scotland.

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Wanted in 3 states (solid, liquid and gas) this journalism graduate and aspiring patter-merchant has probably ignored you in the street on more than one occasion – and with good reason too. Life-long follower of Newcastle United and the bastard offspring of a former Scotland International. Always outnumbered never outpunned.

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Scary, horrible man, but sorta nice in a weird way. Well hung, misanthropic, dangerous (not dangerous) and probably a bit too pretentious for a website about football, Euan writes about super-trendy hipster music on Nous Aimons Danser and is better at liking music than you, unless you’re pretty, in which case he’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. A student of journalism. Through family ties, Euan supports Celtic and Middlesbrough, and watches Montrose FC regularly because sadomasochism is completely his thing. Sweet.

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A hired gun that we’re not actually paying for. This is a good thing for us. He knows a lot more than he thinks he does and would like to make that quite clear. He’s not scared of you and he’s definitely not scared to share an opinion. He’ll do it in a polite way though. So polite that you won’t know what’s hit you until it’s over and you’ve resurrected some serious psychological issues.

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Suhail Seedat is a graduate in Accounting and Finance so naturally he decided to look for a potential career in journalism. A huge admirer of James Richardson which led to a fascination of eating ice cream outside the town hall fountain, recreating the famous images of legendary TV show ‘Gazetta Football Italia’. Through laziness, he is supporting Movember. All year round.

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Often seen seething in middle-class fury at Aberdeen’s performances, Jonnie takes the gentler approach – speak softly and employ a large man with a crowbar. After graduating with an English degree, he’s jumped back into university to study Journalism. An actor, comedian and drama teacher, he’s got more ways of knocking you down a peg than a Roy Keane tackle. This Pugalistic Punsliger is also probably the only member of this team to have been Angus the Bull at Pittodrie…admittedly when he was 7…and only in the dressing room…but it was the real costume.

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Scheidt’s Footballing Miscellany‘s resident Glaswegian lives up to the stereotypes. He supports Celtic, but is more often seen at Firhill watching Partick Thistle or Hampden watching Queens Park, he’s the indirect voice of the little people. He will, without doubt, contradict himself whenever he can. If football was music,  he’d be roaming the alternative and classical aisles of a back street record shop.

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Findlay is Scheidt Footballing Miscellany’s North American correspondent and can be seen frequently “wasting” his time beating his flatmates at FIFA with the New York Red Bulls. Whilst in America last year, he had the distinct honour of scoring a screamer against the backdrop of the Washington Monument, making a mockery of the world’s largest phallic symbol at the same time. Since that historic moment, he has become a Journalism student at Robert Gordon’s University and won his place on the team by tapping up the Scheidtcast twitter in much the same way Jose Mourinho acquires most of his players (allegedly).

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Joss Lorenson is Scheidtcast’s Liverpool correspondent (amongst other things) and has an almost encyclopaedic knowledge of all things Liverpool FC. That encyclopaedia is, of course, Wikipedia as his information and reasoning is occasionally so wide of the mark it’s as if someone else has written it. However, for the most part his information is a valuable addition to Scheidtcast… unless you want to know something about Danny Wilson.

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